Pametto Bugs and other Insects

Friday, 11-20-2015. 0800. Wind moderate NE. Sunny. Fifty-eight degrees F. A beautiful day.

We hauled into the Beaufort Downtown Marina, where we intend to stay for the next two days. Rented a car and drove over to St. Helena Island where we discovered the Penn Center, a museum documenting the history and culture of the Gullah or Geechee people, formerly enslaved African-Americans whose descendants still live here.

This ‘Lowcountry’ as it is called, is a broad coastal plain characterized by extensive wetlands and a number of ‘Sea Islands’, St Helena being one. Today’s Gullah people, many  of whom speak a kind of English based creole referred to as "Sea Island Creole”, keep their unique West and Central African cultures alive through their story telling, rice-based cuisine, music, folk beliefs, crafts, farming, and fishing traditions.

A few local Gullah women make traditional, intricately woven ‘sweet grass’ baskets, out of – well – sweet grass. These baskets are acclaimed far and wide for their quality and authenticity.

A local Gullah Lady Shows Emily Sweet Grass Baskets

And they sure know how to make gumbo.

The Penn Center is also the site of the Penn School, founded in 1861, one of the first schools in America built to educate former slaves.

After our Penn Center visit we did a little tour of Beaufort’s splendid historic district.

On Saturday we drove down to Savannah, Georgia for a few had to find marine supplies, which we did not find.

Savannah, the capitol and oldest city in Georgia was founded in 1733. Walk on cobblestone streets adorned with stately, spreading live oak trees garlanded with Spanish moss, guarding old southern homes.

Juliette Low was born here, founder of the Girl Scouts of America, as was another famous lady, Ann Noble Sims, born in 1923, destined to be the mother of my beautiful bride, Emily. It’s the home of the Georgia Historical Society, the oldest continuously operated historical society in the south. Throwing that tidbit in for McKelden, Emily’s brother, president of the New York Genealogical Society.

The Savannah waterfront has magnificent old warehouses converted into all manner of restaurants, shops and other businesses just itching to get at your pocketbook. Hugh container ships glide by within fifty yards of the town docks.

On Saturday night we kept a dinner date with our friend and my VMI Brother Rat Scott Kinsey.  Scott lives with his wife Laura and their dogs, Doc and Mac, two horses, lots of alligators, water moccasins, sand flies and the occasional coral snake, just outside the crossroads town of Sheldon, SC on the Pocataligo River, in a wonderful home he designed and built. After VMI he migrated to the south, became a luthier, fine bass player, song writer and all around good guy.

He prepared a scrumptious dinner of French beef stew, scalloped potatoes, salad and turtle chocolates.  Afterwards he entertained us with stories about his friend, the late great John Hartford, a very fine old timey musician. Then he broke out his own late nineteenth century German fiddle and regaled us with old timey toons. We had a delightful time. Upon our leaving he supplied us with a loaf of just baked (by him) bread and a half dozen designer hot dogs from Nebraska.

Scott's Fancy Fiddle

Dinner Yum  Yum

Scott Sawing Away

Back to Beaufort with full bellies and nighty night we went.

Sunday morning we returned the car and left the marina dock only to anchor out in the Beaufort channel in preparation for a long day tomorrow, intending an off shore run to St. Catherines Island.

Before we leave the great state of South Carolina I would be remiss if I did not mention South Carolina’s state insect, the palmetto bug, otherwise known as a big, fat cockroach. The South Carolina palmetto bug is the American cockroach (Periplaneta americana), not to be confused with the Florida palmetto bug (Eurycotis floridana). Palmetto bug is a rather benign name for this creature but a palmetto bug by any other name is still a big fat cockroach.

Cockroaches are not native to America. They were introduced from Africa in the sixteenth century and have adapted quite well here. The palmetto bug population that thrives in South Carolina now was brought in by Billy Martin, while he was vacationing in 1998, after having been fired by the New York Yankees for the fifth time.

Cockroaches are not the least bit harmful. South Carolinians know this and they have developed an intimate and custodial relation with them. Palmetto bugs don’t bit or sting although some have accused them of emitting noxious odors from time to time. But, hey, we all do that.

Everything in South Carolina is named after the palmetto bug. Businesses, sports teams, churches; Palmetto Paint and Supply, Palmetto Body Piercing and Tattoo, Palmetto Motors, Palmetto Pizza, Palmetto Medical Services, Palmetto Plumbing Supply, Palmetto Unitarian Church, Palmetto First Bank, Palmetto Exterminators (licensed to exterminate any bug except the palmetto bug). 

The University of South Carolina’s football team, now the Gamecocks, used to be called the University of South Carolina Palmetto Bugs until Steve Spurrier emigrated from Florida and put an end to that. 

Palmetto bugs are cherished as pets in South Carolina and all homes have little palmetto bug condos. All hotels, motels and B&Bs in South Carolina are well endowed with palmetto bugs who cheerfully visit overnight guests by dropping from the ceiling into bed for a late night chat.

It is against state law in South Carolina to harm or harass a palmetto bug.

The popular bee hive hairdo, or the B-52, was developed in the 1960s in South Carolina so women could not be without their precious pet palmetto bugs when out and about on the town.  While South Carolina beauties are having coffee and apple fritters at the local Starbucks their pet palmettos can race out from their hive, descend their owners arm and grab a quick crumb snack, delighting fellow diners to no end. 

The middle name of all women in South Carolina is Palmetto; Savannah Palmetto Coppersmith, Emma Palmetto Bamberg, Olivia Palmetto Beaufort, Emmylou Palmetto Calhoun, Jesse Pearl Palmetto Bug Pickens.

There is even a state sponsored and wildly popular Palmetto Bug Precision Swim Team. They are very good, what with six legs and water wings with which to execute exact and coordinated moves. The Palmetto Bug Paladins Chorus Line woos audiences all over. Those six bare legs do it every time.

The palmetto bug is held in the highest esteem by South Carolinians but a close second is the sand flea, sometimes referred to as the sand gnat, no-see-um, granny nipper, chitra, punkie, or punky, the darling of anyone attempting to enjoy the great outdoors. But a sand flea by any other name is still a sand flea.

And here is where I draw the line on this South Carolina pet insect obsession. First of all they fly like all insects, and swarm, and being no-see-ums, you can’t see um. Secondly they bite and suck blood from their mammalian, reptilian and avian victims. Oddly enough it’s only the female flies that bite. Nothing worse than a swarm of angry, biting females!

And boy do those bites itch. I don’t get how such a tiny creature can inflict such an annoying bite, but they sure do. Furthermore why would any loving deity create this coastal paradise then throw in sand flies. Water moccasins, copperheads, an occasional coral snake, alligators, black widow and brown recluse spiders, sure, I get that, but why sand flies.

Sand fleas make me forget any notion of living in harmony with nature. I strongly urge the federal government step in, throw a big plastic bag over the entire state and douse it with DDT until every sand flea has met his maker and do it before we come back through next May. Of course the feds will have to gather all the palmetto bugs into safe houses during the operation.

Good night to all. I must spend some time scratching my sand flea bites before bedtime.

Tomorrow the mighty Atlantic